Not Like The Other Girls
by The Nurse Who Loved Me
Summary: Lauri/Ville pairing. Lauri is an unusual person who Bam doesn't trust, but can Ville get Bam to understand Lauri at all? Rated M just to be safe.
1. Introduction

**Authors note: The song is "Not like the other girls" by The Rasmus. I don't own the lyrics/song or any of the people in the fic (If only lol). I don't know the people in the fic and none of this ever happened. FFnet wouldn't save my formatting and spacing so I had to improvise lol.  
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******Not Like The Other Girls**

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No more blame, I am destined to keep you sane

Gotta rescue the flame

Gotta rescue the flame in your heart…

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No more blood, I will be there for you my love

I will stand by your side

The world has forsaken my girl…

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Should have seen it would be this way

Should have known from the start what she's up to

When you have loved and you've lost someone

You know what it feels like to lose…

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She's fading away

Away from this world

Drifting like a feather

She's not like the other girls

She lives in the clouds

And talks to the birds

Hopeless little one

She's not like the other girls I know

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No more shame, she has felt too much pain, in her life

In her mind she's repeating the words

All the love you put out will return to you

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Should have seen it would be this way

Should have known from the start what she's up to

When you have loved and you've lost someone

You know what it feels like to lose…

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She's fading away

Away from this world

Drifting like a feather

She's not like the other girls

She lives in the clouds

And talks to the birds

Hopeless little one

She's not like the other girls I know…


	2. Chapter 1

**Authors note: I don't know the people or own anything/anyone etc etc Don't sue me etc. For the record: "Kulta" is Finnish for "Darling".  
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**Chapter 1**

I knew that my constant worrying irritated Bam, but I couldn't help but to worry about Lauri sometimes.

"Dude, I'm sure he's fine." Bam huffed at me.

I'd been pacing anxiously all day because I couldn't find Lauri anywhere. I thought I looked in every possible place but there was no sign of him.

"Seriously, he's fine, stop fucking pacing before you wear a hole in my carpet." Bam sighed, clearly getting annoyed at my anxiety.

I didn't listen to Bam, because no matter how many times he told me that Lauri was fine, I couldn't accept that as a solution to his disappearance when there was every chance that he might not be okay. Bam sighed at me again when he realised I wasn't listening to his blasé reassurance.

"Have you tried the garden?" Bam huffed, "Every other time he's disappeared he's been in a fucking tree somewhere."

I knew Bam was trying to give me ideas of where to find Lauri so that I would hurry up and find him so that he didn't have to watch me pace around the house anymore. Bam was always a very laid back person, and it always irritated him when people around him didn't act in the same way. I was more concerned with finding Lauri than I was with catering to Bam's needs, but never the less I made my way outside to see if I could spot Lauri anywhere.

I knew it wasn't going to be terribly easy to find Lauri, if he was even outside at all. I tried to phone Lauri earlier but he didn't answer his phone. I thought I might as well try once more before I started looking for him just in case he answered this time. I pulled out my phone and dialled Lauri's number again, hoping he'd answer this time. I heard the phone click when Lauri answered. Lauri never spoke first on the phone, so I knew it was my cue to talk.

"Lauri, I've been looking for you all day! Are you okay?" I asked as I sighed a breath of relief.

Lauri didn't reply; he seldom spoke, so I wasn't surprised when he didn't respond to my question.

"Where are you?" I asked in Finnish, knowing that he was more likely to respond to Finnish.

"Talking to the birds." Lauri whispered back to me in Finnish before hanging up the phone.

I sighed as I put my phone back in my pocket; I was going to have to guess where he was. I knew that if he was talking to birds, it meant he actually was in a tree somewhere – but where? Bam's house had a forest right next to it, how was I supposed to find him in there? I had no choice but to start looking because it was the only way I would find him. He never told me where he was because he liked knowing that no one could find him unless he wanted them to. I wasn't angry, or even annoyed, at having to search for him in a forest – I knew that by no one knowing where he was he felt safe, and that was something I would never want to take away from him.

I wandered aimlessly towards the towering trees of the forest and just hoped that I was going in the right direction to find him.

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It didn't take me long to find Lauri. I was just thankful that he was a creature of habit. The first place I checked was where I'd found him a couple of times before now when he disappeared. There was one tree that he liked to climb at the edge of the forest near Castle Bam. I was never sure why he liked that tree in particular, but at least it made it easier for me to find him.

I approached the tree slowly to make sure Lauri had seen me coming – I didn't want to startle him. I stopped in front of the tree and looked up to see if he was there. I could see his back facing in my direction and legs dangling limply; he was sitting on a high branch in the shadow provided by the trunk of the tree.

"Lauri, kulta," I called out softly, "Won't you come down from there?"

Lauri turned his head back and glanced down at me over his shoulder. Without replying he carefully manoeuvred his body to face the other way so that he was facing in my direction. Lauri watched me carefully, still swinging his legs back and forth. He didn't give me any indication that he was going to climb down from the tree anytime soon; he just smiled that sweet smile at me.

"Kulta, I was worried about you, can you please come down?" I asked him with a slight smile.

Lauri continued to watch me but didn't move from his spot on the branch. He tilted his head sideways and continued to smile at me. I smiled to myself when I realised that he was playing with me again.

"Lauri, you know I won't come up there." I laughed.

Time after time Lauri tried to get me to climb up trees to get him, rather than him just climbing down. I was never sure why he felt the need to try and get me to retrieve him, but I guess he was just a playful person like that. I never went up and got him because I was afraid of heights, and he knew that, but he still kept trying to get me to get him down.

After Lauri realised that I wasn't going to climb up the tree after him he playfully pouted his bottom lip at me. His child like pout turned into a grin as he started to climb down the tree. Playing games with me always amused him to some degree – it just made me happy to finally see him smiling more.

Lauri climbed down each individual branch to get to the ground. He moved with such precision and fluidity that it obviously came naturally to him. Some people could just walk on uneven rocks and climb the tallest trees easily, and some people couldn't – Lauri was obviously one of the people who could. Without hesitating I was already walking towards Lauri, meeting him face on when he turned around. I pulled him into my arms, almost crushing the small man. I exhaled a deep sigh of relief. Now that he was in my arms I knew he was safe.

"Ville…" Lauri managed to barely choke.

"Oh sorry, Lauri!" I laughed as I released him from my crushing grasp.

Lauri stepped backwards and leant forward as he coughed lightly, trying to recover from having the air forced out of him.

"Are you okay?" I asked apologetically.

Lauri stood up straight and nodded. He smiled before moving forward to initiate another hug between us. I wrapped my arms around his waist more carefully this time. Lauri rested his arms on my chest and hunched his shoulders forward. I moved my arms up and wrapped them around his shoulders and pulled his body closer to mine. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. It always made me sad when Lauri wanted to be held like this, because I knew that when he felt vulnerable he liked me to hold him so that he felt protected. It always worried me, because every hug we shared made me think about every word he never spoke and that made me wonder what he was thinking about and what kind of things he never told me.

I opened my eyes when I felt a brush of cold air. The sun was starting to set and the breeze was picking up.

"We should go inside, Lauri." I told him in Finnish.

Lauri looked up at me, slightly confused. He could see me gazing into the distance, watching the setting sun. He turned his body slightly so he could look in the same direction as I was to see what I was looking at. Lauri smiled at the changing colours in the sky, I would have bet that he didn't even notice how late it had gotten while he was in the tree. Lauri had never been observant to things like time, he lived by experiences and remembered points in time by the events that occurred in and around that point in time. My guess was that if he remembered tonight, he would remember the beautiful pink and orange colours of the sunset and being in my arms.


	3. Chapter 2

**Authors note: "Kulta" is Finnish for "Darling". Don't own, so don't sue. Never happened and probably never will. I don't know the people annnnd etc… Lets continue on now lol. **

**Chapter 2**

I sighed as Bam threw himself over the back of the couch and onto the floor; Dunn and Raab were running around after him, laughing. I really wasn't in the mood to put up with their ridiculously superfluous behaviour tonight. Bam pulled himself off the floor and onto the couch, still laughing insanely. He stretched as he yawned loudly. Dunn and Raab sunk lazily onto the other armchairs.

"So what are we doing now?" Dunn asked Bam anxiously.

"Well I don't care, I'm going to bed." Bam yawned back at him.

"What?" Dunn laughed, "It's like only 11, we have heaps of time to go out and you're going to fucking bed?"

"Dude, you suck." Raab laughed at Bam.

"Fuck you," Bam grinned, "Why don't you just go out without me then? Go and find yourself some fuckin' minge hags."

"We will then!" Dunn laughed as he stood up and left the room, Raab not far behind him.

I turned my attention back to Lauri. Whenever I sat on the couch Lauri would sit between my legs so I could play with his hair. I continued to run my fingers through his black hair, being careful not to move any of the feathers that he had so carefully weaved in. I could see Lauri turning his head slightly so he could look at Bam. Bam rolled onto his stomach and groaned loudly.

"I'm so effing tired." He whined.

I glanced at Bam briefly before I continued to comb my fingers through Lauris' coarse hair. Bam huffed anxiously as he pulled himself upright. After eyeing Lauri curiously for a moment he rose from the couch and moved closer to Lauri and I.

"Dude, why the fuck do you have feathers in your hair?" Bam said in an almost snide voice as he pulled a feather out of Lauris' hair to examine it.

I felt Lauri flinch between my legs at Bam's harsh tone. I slapped Bam's hand and snatched the feather from him.

"Bam, piss off." I snapped at him.

"Whatever." Bam yawned before he walked away.

When I heard Bam leave I looked back down to Lauri; he had his arms wrapped around his knees and his face buried in one of his arms. My heart sank when I realised he was scared. I didn't know that Bam intimidated him so easily.

"Kulta, it's okay." I said reassuringly as I put his feather back in his hair.

Lauri shook his head, keeping his face hidden beneath his arm. I put my hand on his shoulder and squeezed it tightly.

"Lauri, it's okay." I whispered to him in Finnish.

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The moonlight spilled over us, the liquid silver glistened on our skin. The crisp night air filled the room. When I looked out the open window I could see thousands of tiny, glowing stars in the black sky. I appreciated such opportunities; it was very rare that I was able to witness such natural beauty.

I looked down at Lauri – he was still asleep, but I had been awake for hours. I often woke in the night, and it wasn't unusual for me to not be able to get back to sleep. Whenever I woke in the night I would just lie in bed, watching over Lauri. I knew that he always had nightmares, and I always wanted to be there for him if he woke up in a state of fear or panic. I wanted to be there to soothe his pain and to ease his fears. I could never stop thinking about it. Months ago he told me to keep him safe while he slept, and I knew that if he had a nightmare and I wasn't already awake he would never wake me up – even if he needed me, so I would just lie awake at night watching him, just in case he did ever need me.

Lauri rarely spoke – everyone knew that, and when he did speak, what he said was always said with good reason. A few months ago he told me to keep him safe while he was asleep – that was the first thing he had said to me in over a month. I hadn't slept more than an a few hours a night since he said that to me. I'd love to say I wasn't affected by his behaviour, but I was. Every positive sign I got when he did speak, ever negative sign I saw when he didn't speak – they all hit me hard. Bam always told me that I should let go, and a lot of the time I wished I could have agreed, but I could never have left Lauri. I'd seen the real side of Lauri, the side that no one else had ever seen, and it was beautiful. I prayed every day that I would get to see that side of him again.

Lauri stirred in his sleep, quietly mumbling to himself in Finnish. When he talked in his sleep was usually the only time I got to hear his voice at all. If it weren't for his sleep talking I probably wouldn't have heard his voice for a few months at a time. Sometimes I missed how we used to be. Years ago now, we were like two normal people – we talked, we laughed and we sung. Lauri had the most enchanting voice, although he would never have admitted it at the time. I missed his voice, but more than anything I missed _him_. The person lying next to me wasn't Lauri. Lauri was vibrant, happy and courageous, but the person I was looking at was depressed and completely damaged – every ounce of hope and spirit that once existed had been stolen from them. Their spirit had been crushed and they were damaged to the core. This wasn't who Lauri was – this was what he'd become.

I felt tortured every time I thought about it. I didn't understand how or why Lauri still loved me, but he did. Once before Lauri told me the same thing; he would never understand how or why I still loved him, but I did. He would never know how much I loved him, and it was for that reason that I blamed myself for what happened to him. He would never understand the pain I felt every time I looked at him; a constant reminder that I was the reason he had become this. I would always blame myself. Every time I watched him whisper in his sleep I would cry – not for me, but for him. The damage that he had suffered was irreversible, no matter how hard I tried to undo the devastating effects it'd had. It was possible that I would cry again tonight, but nothing would ever stop the pain that was slowly tearing my soul apart.


	4. Chapter 3

**Authors note: Once again, "Kulta" is Finnish for "Darling" and "Lintu" means "Bird". I don't own, so don't sue. Never happened and never will (Damn it Ville and Lauri, hurry up and get together lmao! Jk). I don't know the people and don't make any money from this, I write it for fun annnnd etc… Lets continue on now lol. I'm kind of ignoring real statistics for this chapter (I know, I know) and I'm going to tell everyone to presume Ville and Lauri are the same age (or at least born in the same year), even though they're not in real life… I'm sorry, please don't murder me lol. Italics mean that it's Ville's thoughts.**

**Chapter 3**

_I remembered the time when we sat on the park bench, waiting for the sun to set. We were ten years old and you came to my house that day after your father beat you again. I didn't have to ask you what happened; I'd already guessed from the moment I saw you standing on my doorstep. We walked idly to the park near my house, neither of us speaking. We sat on the bench for what seemed like hours, just waiting for the sun to set. I knew that the different colours of the sunset always made you smile, but not that day. Some days you put on a brave face for me, because you knew I was worried about you, and scared for you more than anything. I used to tell you to come and live with me, because that would surely have solved all of your problems, but you knew better. I wish I'd known better too._

_I remembered the time when I first kissed you. We were thirteen. Even though it was so many years ago, I remembered every detail of that moment. I remembered the soft, green grass by the lake, covered in golden brown leaves. I remembered the smell of the cold autumn breeze. I could remember lying next to you and wrapping my arms around you because you were cold. If I thought hard enough, I could still remember every line on your face. I would never forget the devotion that I saw in your eyes that day… but even now - I still regret some of that day. You used to walk me home before you went home by yourself, but that day I insisted on walking you home first, even though you really protested. I still don't know why I hugged you before I left, but I'm still sorry that I did. I never had any doubt in my mind that you got that black eye because your father saw us together._

_I would never forget the time that you saved me. I remembered walking across the railing of the bridge with you, casually talking about anything that came to mind. You were always so graceful, and I was always so clumsy. I remembered accidentally slipping and falling off the bridge and into the lake and you jumped in after me. I couldn't swim and would have drowned, but you grabbed me and pulled me out of the water. I would never, ever forget that day._

_I would always remember the day that I started calling you "Lintu". When we were at the park you went walking into the trees and came back with a baby bird that had fallen from its nest. You were always so drawn to birds; it just seemed like an appropriate nickname for you. You wrapped the tiny, featherless bird up in your shirt and took it home with you. You kept it hidden in your bedroom and used to take it outside when your father was at work. It became your pet, and it was obviously very devoted to you. You loved that bird. It used to just sit on your shoulder when you took it outside, so you would bring it with you to my house when you visited because it would never fly away. We went to the park with the bird and talked for hours, and the bird never left you during that entire time. I could never forget how you sobbed in my arms when I saw you the next day, after your father had found out about the bird and snapped its neck. _

_I couldn't deny that over the years I got more worried about you, but I would never have admitted it to you, because it made you sad to know that I spent my time worrying about you instead of looking after myself. I would never tell you this, but sometimes I still had nightmares about all those years ago. I was haunted by nightmares after you tried to commit suicide. That period in time was one I would never forget, even though I sincerely wished every single day that I could. All the times I saw you covered in black and yellow bruises with a cut lip or a black eye – they all burned into my memory. Thinking back, I had no doubt that every time you went home after visiting me, you got beaten for coming to see me. If your father didn't commit suicide when he did – I probably would've killed him myself._

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I felt Lauri stir in his sleep. It had been another sleeplessness night for me. I just lied on the bed, listening to Lauri talk in his sleep. I could feel sleep trying to claim me again, but I knew that I couldn't sleep, no matter how desperately I may have needed to. I sighed as I rolled onto my side. Lauri was sleeping on his side with his back to me. I slid closer to him and wrapped my arm around his slender waist. I pulled away from him slightly when I felt his body jerk abruptly. Lauri's mumbling got louder, but I couldn't understand what he was saying. I shook Lauri gently, trying to wake him.

"Lauri," I whispered, "wake up, Lauri."

Lauri gasped slightly as his eyes flew open, he instinctively pushed me away from him.

"It's okay, darling, it's just me." I told him quietly in Finnish

Lauri sighed in relief after hearing my words. It wasn't unusual for him to wake up in a panic and not realise it was me next to him. I knew that he always had nightmares, so when he woke up he usually didn't realise straight away that he was in bed with me at Castle Bam and not in Finland anymore.

Lauri let himself fall onto his back, still breathing heavily. I propped myself up on my elbow next to him and placed my hand on his arm. I expected him to pull away from me, as he often did, but he didn't this time.

"Was it the same dream again?" I asked him quietly in Finnish.

Lauri nodded and sighed heavily. He pulled himself upright and swung his legs over the side of the bed. I watched him as he stood up and walked into bathroom, quietly closing the door behind him. I exhaled deeply as I sunk into my pillow. I closed my eyes; I just needed a moment to rest. I'd had so little sleep that even just closing my eyes for a moment filled me with an overwhelming sense of relief.


End file.
